You’re welcome Hollywood: Five potential sequels to The Bourne Legacy

Warning, mild spoilers ahead for The Bourne Legacy:

Despite the fact The Bourne Legacy has opened to pretty mixed reviews so far, the blogosphere is already alive with talk of how the film may continue its journey towards becoming a standalone franchise. Of course, if Jeremy Renner is to reprise his role as Aaron Cross, Universal Pictures will have to cut the apron strings that the ‘Bourne’ prefix (steady, that’s not a title idea) has provided so far. Here are a few ideas on how they could continue the story, complete with an appropriate title for the film:

1. The Cross Examination

Tired with a life on the run from covert government agencies – and having been successfully ‘viraled out’ on brain-enhancing medication – Aaron Cross sets out to use his newly permanent aptitude to do something he should have done years before – graduate high school. Assuming the identity of a 15 year old girl and partnering up with social outcast Sally (Elle Fanning), it will be a journey of self discovery, with important lessons about life, love and friendship learned along the way. However, Cross will not only face making the grade in the classroom, he’ll also need to come out on top in the popularity stakes! Closing shot will be Cross and Sally slow dancing to Phil Collins’ In Too Deep.

2. The Cross Pollination

While adjusting to their new idyllic life as a happy couple living on a distant Caribbean island, Cross and new wife Dr Marta Shearing start to experience strange and worrying symptoms. The good doctor soon realises this is as a result of not wearing a face mask while Cross was busy shooting holes in the equipment at the drugs facility back in Manila and decides only she can save them both. With only local plant life at their disposal, the two begin to cross breed different types of exotic flora in an attempt to find a cure for their degenerative condition. This backfires badly and in fact speeds up spread of the infection, leading to a zombie outbreak that destroys the island – and eventually, mankind.

3. The Cross Road

With Treadstone and Blackbriar – as well as all those other secret agencies only Ed Norton knows about – closing in fast, Aaron Cross decides his only course of action is finding his predecessor Jason Bourne to help bring an end to this conspiratorial madness. Unexpectedly, when Cross and Bourne meet up in a Vegas hotel, they fall hopelessly in love with one another and decide they must escape to Brazil. Here, they plan to live under the radar as dancing transvestites, spending their days free-running together across the favelas of Rio de Janeiro. Stars Luis Guzman as Madame Ana Flávia, the Brazilian club owner who teaches the pair to dance in high heels.

4. The Cross Hatching

With his newly-medicated body opening physical and mental doors in ways he never thought possible, Aaron Cross is overcome with a surge of creativity which presents itself in highly detailed drawings of beautiful stately mansions. When he admits to Marta that he has never been to any of these places before, appearing to be recalling the images solely from some dark and distant memory, she decides to hypnotise him to get to the truth. It transpires that Cross was actually a Victorian poet in a past life and the rest of the movie is told in flashback, detailing his amorous, drunken pursuits in the fields, boudoirs and stables of the great British countryside.

5. The Cross Reference

The focus shifts to a third agent, Ben Knight (Josh Hutcherson), who (using CG manipulated flashbacks) is revealed to have actually appeared in the background of key scenes from all four films in the Bourne franchise disguised as the floor. So convincing is his ability to blend in, Treadstone and Blackbriar – as well as all those other secret agencies only Ed Norton knows about – have forgotten about him completely, so he uses his new-found freedom to team up with a female who is loosely written into the story to help find out the truth about something for some reason. At no point will Jason Bourne be mentioned, but the last line of the movie will provide one ‘reference’ to Cross.

So yeah, them’s my ideas. Universal, if your reading this, cheques can be made payable to Noel Mellor. You’re welcome.

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